My Son
Written by Hope Cavallo
My son has given me permission to share this blog…
Tomorrow my youngest son turns 21 years old. He just texted me a few minutes ago, with the message, “Life is good”. To some moms, this could seem like a normal kind of text to get from their young adult son. To me, this text is everything. For years, I didn’t know if my son would make it to his 21st birthday. That is the truth.
The journey my son/our family has been on with mental health, has been beyond hard to say the least. I can honestly say my son has gone through absolute hell. I remember him saying once, “I’d rather be tattooed 24/7, then live with depression.”
For many moms, when our kids aren’t doing well, we aren’t feeling good either. We worry. We want to take away their hurt and pain. We want to fix things, so that everyone is okay. We want peace in our home and everyone under our roof to be happy.
It’s not like that with mental health. It doesn’t just disappear with a magic wand. The journey can have its’ ups and downs and be long, scary and feel like it’s never going to end. And sometimes if you do envision the journey ending, it’s not what you desperately hope for.
Accessing mental health support and getting the help he truly needed was beyond difficult. Even as a school counsellor and knowing the support available, I found it so difficult navigating the system. The frustration I felt as a parent trying to get the help for him and was unable to get, was unacceptable.
You can only imagine the loss of hopelessness and frustration that my son would have felt. The courage it takes for a person to reach out for mental health help, and then to receive a lack of compassion and support on the other end, can be enough for some people to give up.
My son kept on battling with his mental health struggles for years. I kept supporting him through every challenge. I didn’t stop trying to access the mental health support that he truly needed. Many sleepless nights with paralyzing fear tortured my son. He managed to keep fighting. Bravely. I was with him every step of the way. He always knew I was in his corner. Every person needs to know they have someone who never stops believing in them, even when they lose hope in themselves.
Finally with perseverance, patience and neverending hope, the stars aligned and my son found the most amazing mental health support team that has helped him find himself again. I was able to take a step back and my son took the lead on his health and wellness. He has found purpose, happiness and truly enjoys life again. I am beyond proud of my son and the resilience, determination and his bright spirit that he shows up with each day. This past year he has gone through an amazing transformation: mind, body, soul. Working out, eating clean (I wish I had his will power lol) and a sense of renewed living.
Here we are celebrating his 21st birthday. “Life is good”. I have my “son” back…his happy, funny, easy-going, beautiful self. There’s no better gift for a mom than that.
(If someone you know is going through a mental health struggle, please know that things can get better. Reach out for help today. Feel free to call me for a free consultation today, 250-938-5183.)
Here’s is one of my son’s favourite inspirational quotes (he loves quotes, like his mom, LOL).
