Questions to ask your Teen
Written by Hope Cavallo
Most of us have experienced dead-end conversations with our kids over the years. How many times have you asked, “How was school today?” and your child responded with the classic, “Good” or “Okay” or maybe, “It sucked!”. You then ask, “What did you do at school?” and they reply, “Can’t remember” or “Nothing much”—the end.
It can be difficult to know how to get the conversation started and continue. Sometimes, it may seem like your teen doesn’t want to engage in a conversation with you. And the truth of the matter is, sometimes that is true. We need to be able to know when to ask the questions and when to give space. Sometimes, it’s as simple as saying, “It seems like you want some time alone right now. I’ll check in with you in a bit. I’m here if you want to chat.” A comment like this works much better than, “Why are you in a bad mood?” That comment is almost a guarantee for putting an end to the conversation, or it may result in emotions escalating.
Here are a few questions that will help open up the communication lines and help you to strengthen your relationship with your teen.
Some “light and fun” questions:
What is a good App that I don’t have on my phone?
Do you want to show me some of your favourite videos or memes?
What would be your perfect weekend?
What’s your favourite show right now? Do you have any recommendations for me?
Some school-related questions:
What was the best part of your day today?
Who is your favourite teacher this semester?
What do you find most stressful about school?
Who brightens your day at school? (Friends and/or school staff)
Some friend-related questions:
Who do you hang out with at lunch at school?
Which friend’s house do you like to go to the most? Why?
Do you like it when friends come to our house or when you go to their house better? Why do you think that is?
Some family-related questions:
Do you think we treat you and your brothers/sisters fairly?
What is the most embarrassing thing that I (we) do?
What is something you wish we (parents) understood more about you?
What’s a fun thing we could do together as a family? Just you and me (parent)?
What things we (parents) do will you do with your kids and what are some things you will do differently? (that’s if you choose to have kids one day)
What is one of your favourite family memories?
Some “deeper life” kind of questions:
What is your love language?
Where do you think you want to live when you are an adult?
Do you think you want kids one day (how many)?
What do you think happens when we die?
What is the hardest thing about being a teenager?
How are you for real…be honest?
